Falling for the chauvinistic

Like a father to impress
Like a mothers mourning dress
If I ever make a mess
Don't think of me less

Everything is great for one purpose or another. Still it is like arsenik, if you get too caught up in it. So in the case of school, when you do as you are told under pressure, either the outcome or mentality will be very improper.

Therefore the competative behaviour comes down to this:

It is not that you don't win, it is that you absolutely refuse to lose. I'm going for the top and at this point no hinders can stop me.

Warbling mail of a very long tale

Do you notice when a warbling cat is strolling around?
Do you see the life or keep looking down on the gray cement?

I notice the cat! Because I see life and strive for the day when I will not, when I am alive instead of wishing I am...

I always think that there is nothing all you people can say, to change my mind, which is the case. But hence only when I feel discouraged. Because whenever I am encouraged and given nurturance, then I am able to look at different paths with different ways. In addition, I thank the realists for warmingly having a clear understanding of me with their kind helping hands. Given this, everything just seems slightly better: Fears gone. Stress relieved. Motivation ON. On a side note this makes me wonder, if shutting myself down this way for indulgement of the ego is a defense mechanism of some sort.

The american eagle was once almost extinct but it came back

2009, a year of vigilance

There's no need for a gun
And no more place to run
I've had my fun
Love from each one
Life has only begun

I embrace year 2009 as a year for the friendly, a year of vigilance. I see change, geniality and connection but inside I am the same as I ever were, exhilirated. Most important of all, I see mortality. It worries me to think that people who read the lines above will be reminded of the unspoken fear of humanity, as I know the distress that comes with it. However it is even more worrying to think that the subject remains in silence, agitating more and more eager young minds, without having anyone step up and talk about it. The reality of death could be one blink away and one would think it should be obvious but instead it is suppressed. Furthermore I am surprised that it is the most common fear out there, as I usually always think I am the ONLY one. Nonetheless, despite the flawed divisions of concepts, realize that death is needed for life as despair for bliss and night for day. Only then can you feel at ease and learn to see things for what they are, instead of why.
Because even Science only answers what is... not why!


May 2009 be a blessed year of flourish

Fear, what's gripping you?

What are we going to leave for the young ones?

Fear of Death
Fear of Failiure
Fear of the Economy
Fear of Insignificance
Fear of Betrayal

These are concepts that the world has been gazing at, dare I say, every single day. And we will keep on gazing at them, however now we have to face them as well, with gloom and doom. Battle lines are being drawn, and we face an era of big changes, an end to life as we know it. You think you are happy? Think again! It is that devil-may care attitude that will bring our civilization down. We are heading fate accompli and it will not be nice. It may be war with a predestined tragic end, a pronounced judgement or (more down to earth) a macabre decision, which we all must face. We could blame the future on the past, however we will not be able to excuse the present. We need to halt an erosion before positive change can appear.

WE must look out for those who need compassion, not fear and deviate it. WE must look twice, not overlook and ignore the ones who are needy. You see, your loving concern makes you a compassionate friend.

Distant lands, takes both my hands

Every time just like the last
On the ship I'm tied to the mast

Lost in my mind and lost in the world. I tread lifes path, wishing for what cannot be found or had. An all encompassing love; from mother, father, teachers or commoners. All i want is for my heart to feel whole again.

I have a peter pan complex and I am emotionally hypersensitive, artistic, intellectual and melodramatic. Furthermore, my personality type is ENFP, the advocate. My life long dream needed for all other dreams to come true has been crushed, I turned 17. My annoyingly perfect heart hurts and I don't know what to do seeing as I will never ever regain a chance to have a fulfilled sweet 16. I blame my mother and her man, an evil American psychiatrist claiming I live in a 'Rapunzel fantasy'. Their monstreous actions done indirect puts hate into my basket of usually only love. When mixed there is AMBIVALENCE. - It's their bad, yes! but NO it's actually my bad because I still love them.

Two sides of the same coin, is all one

We have a big world, to learn how to tie together.
We have a past and a future, to give us a present.
We have night and day, to separate light from dark.
We have good and evil, to make a choice.
We have life and death, to find peace in both.

Two sides of the same coin, it's all one.

'If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face - forever' - George Orwell.

An extraordinary example of my racing mind.'What if...' - The questions driven by FEAR of the UNKNOWN

Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer

My enemies are defined as beloved friends but with whome I also compete with and therefore at the same time I despise. I portray all my environment and the people in it as loving, beautiful and caring. There is a theory that I lay my own characteristics onto others so that I can beautify and relate to them. Although in accordance to the theory above, this also means that I lay my 'negative' characteristics onto others, which are the ones I compete with. In other words, the people that I compete with reflect something that battles within myself. Consequently I value my 'enemies' very high and care alot about appraisal of my accomplishments.

All my times have come

Here but now they're gone

My frantic times has come towards it's end.
My soul is beyond the sky, the sea, the invisible land so very far away. Nothing is perfect anymore, everything is in agony. Closed eyes opened, but now they cannot close. We are in a time of uncertainty and unstable cynisism; the world is in a recession, mother nature is condemned, language is deteriorating and war is ahead and what not. We know nothing and believe in nothing.

Please forgive me if I have sinned, but imagine: if an open-minded thinker searching for the meaning of life finds that there is none. Then the only thing that he can do to implement meaning, is trade his old life for a religious faith and hope to be enligtened and find a meaning.
If there is no divine, this is in fact true oppression, although if there is, it is the doubters who are oppressed.
In the name of all vice, why the hell would such demons exist?