Our soul and essence are the embodiment of Love

When we get our whole world...

Until the rest of our days I will be your best friend.

I will share your moments, your days, and your years. 

I will share your joys and sorrows, your successes and failures, your dreams and your fears. 

When you are ill, I will take the best care of you. 
When you need help, I will do all I can for you.

When you have a secret, I will keep it. 
When you need advice, I will give you the best advice. 

I will always be with you. 
When you wake up in the morning, the first thing your eyes will see will be mine. During the day, I will be with you. If for a moment I am is not with you, I will be thinking of you, praying for you with all my heart, mind, and soul. When you go to sleep at night, the last thing your eyes will see is mine and when you are asleep you will still see me in your dreams. 

When I am your whole world and you are my whole world.

Every empty park bench has a story

Out in a small rugged old town there is a park with alot of life. It has a park bench where two old friends once used to sit and both giggle and silent away.

Towards the end of each day, a man sits on it alone. He listens to the birds whistle and sing, watches the children play and observes the people walking on the park trail.

Meanwhile, surrounding the trail and bench wanders a little girl with starry curious eyes in the grassy field. She is seeking flowers, the first signs of spring flowers. People always tell her that it is far too early on and that she will never find any flowers, yet she keeps looking for them.

Unnoticed, this little girl walks up to the man and asks
'Why are you talking to the wind?'.
He looks a little startled but shortly responds kindly
- 'Because the wind carries prayers'.

And as the girl grew up, she carried that with her and nowadays the spring flowers are always there in time for her.

The fruit of your loins

Here is a piece of an extraordinary speech that lies close to my heart and was held by a very special teacher, friend and supporter; Khashayar Kashefi.

"...For me, it has somehow taken to be a love story and during very few moments I will regret that I started this, my relationship to you.
Sometimes I wake up in the morning, wondering if I was the right one for you... Sometimes I have to shake myself up and understand that you were the right one for me..."

You are the best parent I never had, you are a hero. Without you, I would not even be able to argue for the harmonium in my heart.
I am forever grateful,
Michelle

Carelessness

Parenting is Not a job! You cannot treat a child as if they are in the way all the time, ignore them when they need to talk, or make them feel as if their feelings are not important.

- I was a great mother but what I had to go through to keep
you in one piece...

Who says I'm in one piece?

- You're the most normal person I know.

Normal??

You know, everybody tells me to go

But I can't, I can't leave you,

If something bad happens to you... it's my fault

I'm what went wrong in your life.

I'm what you struggled to survive.

You had to know that you wrote a book about it.

I'm just incredibly screwed up,

and just so we're real clear about this,

I blame you.

Hold onto my wings

Pegasus horses are shy, flying horses, who live alone on lonesome mountain peaks and feed from intact grasslands. Only friendly people are lucky enough to find one and if they succeed in taming a Pegasus they will have a very faithful companion for life. They are snow-white or pitch-black horses with significant bird-like wings seated behind their neck.

It is said that Pegasus threw off a horse-rider who tried to use him in order to reach the skies. Pegasus sensed hubris and had the horse-rider fall down to earth while he himself flew to the skies and attained fortune. So what I am trying to say is that symbolically, I am up against a handful of pitch-black horses as well.

Not for cynical people: The Hollies - Pegasus

The Pristine Red Balloon

Don't give up on Love even when it is wretched from your hands and seems stepped upon by others. Because it will be returned to us one million fold, for Love is love and it's beauties are multifarious to behold.

A pristine music video adaptation of the movie:
The Red Balloon (Le Ballon Rouge, 1956)

On the ship, tied to the mast

My eyes are an ocean in which my gleams are reflected

His eyes to my devotion in which my dreams are protected

I used to think life was a flower, just like the french game 'Effeuiller la marguerite'. It had me convinced that life was divided into superlative antonyms; All or None, Best or Worst and Always and Never. It is a known idiom probability game known as

'He loves me... He loves me not'

that had me entangled into its life philosophy.

Although this was untill I discovered the twist:

'He loves me... He loves me Lots'

Misty green and blue

The trivial schadenfreude running through their veins. I am giving joy to those who take pleasure in others defeat. Sometimes it is hard to tell if the decisions that I am making are emotional, which makes it difficult to determine whether they are rational. They are constructive, but destructive as those I look up to are merely logical and cannot see any logic in them. I would give up my emotionability in a heartbeat, hence I can't because an emotion inhibits me to do so. This emotion mediates the belief that I am giving up something extraordinary that I will miss and regret. See, the paradox is that the latter is an emotion as well. How can I simply trash them? How are the logical ones able to be happy? And are they even happy?

The world is just awesome

Enjoy this video, which will -if not yet- make you LOVE the whole world. It is a Discovery Channel commercial and will give you a one minute break from everything hasty.

Distant lands, takes both my hands

Every time just like the last
On the ship I'm tied to the mast

Lost in my mind and lost in the world. I tread lifes path, wishing for what cannot be found or had. An all encompassing love; from mother, father, teachers or commoners. All i want is for my heart to feel whole again.

I have a peter pan complex and I am emotionally hypersensitive, artistic, intellectual and melodramatic. Furthermore, my personality type is ENFP, the advocate. My life long dream needed for all other dreams to come true has been crushed, I turned 17. My annoyingly perfect heart hurts and I don't know what to do seeing as I will never ever regain a chance to have a fulfilled sweet 16. I blame my mother and her man, an evil American psychiatrist claiming I live in a 'Rapunzel fantasy'. Their monstreous actions done indirect puts hate into my basket of usually only love. When mixed there is AMBIVALENCE. - It's their bad, yes! but NO it's actually my bad because I still love them.

Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer

My enemies are defined as beloved friends but with whome I also compete with and therefore at the same time I despise. I portray all my environment and the people in it as loving, beautiful and caring. There is a theory that I lay my own characteristics onto others so that I can beautify and relate to them. Although in accordance to the theory above, this also means that I lay my 'negative' characteristics onto others, which are the ones I compete with. In other words, the people that I compete with reflect something that battles within myself. Consequently I value my 'enemies' very high and care alot about appraisal of my accomplishments.

Everyone is a storyteller

The winter is here, the sky is gray,
the wind is cold and the sun is gone.
The grass is frosted, the flowers are dead,
the bliss is gone and so is the swan.
The menace is present, the swords are drawn,
the knight is brave and the reaper is grim.
The passion is clear, the demise ends bold,
the sublime is blinding yet thee must it all behold.
For the painter holds the tale to be told, in the new day of dawn.

I have outdone myself again and achieved a second transcendence to my benefit. My best poem yet, and an introduction to my piano sonata.
I know that I do not know the meaning of happenings, however today was a productive day with elegant approaches and enthusiastic people. Still. Surprisingly, I kept my feet on the ground and noticed them and their spirit without being in accordance to me. This was in fact very pleasant and blissful and undeniably beautiful, to acknowledge someones smile without the 'me, me, me'.

So much to care for

[Left: Me Right: One knows if it symbolizes oneself]

I accept what I can not change however that does not mean I will change in accordance to that. Have you ever had recurring imaginary thoughts, containing yourself performing an action of wish, yet when it comes to reality you don't fulfill it even though you could. Instead you let the feeling of persecution inhibit you. Moreover I am pretty confident that the you I am refering to experience it exactly the same way. I love when you put the ear to ear smile on my face and broaden my wide-eyed horizon.

Take my hand

Love goes where my rosemary blows

Time passes so quickly, soon going from a sweet 16 (not necessarily so sweet) to what shall be an interesting sweet 17. Often when time flies, it is a sign that life's surprises has kept us busy enough to enable us to escape from the past. Nevertheless life does not have to be defective and to be content is essentially not too bad. The future times to come will involve a whole lot more witnessing of the shear beauty and elegant magnificence of what is quite breathtaking - life!

So cold the wind has blown
felt abyssal to the bone
dwelling on the unknown
with a chromatic heart of stone
At last infringing my own
admitting to my entire throne

A brilliant mind turned against itself

Find and plan a route, then ruthlessly execute and deliver.

Make the decision to follow your heart

and create your own world - your own way!

Untill my heart learns to see
I shall keep climbing the tree.
When bad dreams wake me
I shall crusade to simply be.

When there is a will, there is a way!

Sometimes when I find myself in a state of hubris, I seem to feel melancholy at the same time.
How can the light that burned so brightly
Suddenly burn so pale?
Seeing as language and verbal expressions lack and have big holes, we are controlled by it. Furthermore I shall try to explain my spirit the best way possible; I crave help because at the present I feel insane as it is getting too dark for me to see and the badge located on the left side on my chest is burning. Now even in my restless dreams I walk alone.
Fortunately when there is a will, there is a way!

My dad once told me something like:
"Once upon a time, a wise man was asked if he knew where his heart was located. He responded as such:
- I shall give you only one answer, it is situated on my right side as he raised his left hand clapping his right chest, nodding.
Astonished the questioner looked at him wondering how a wise man could state something so faulty to this magnitude that opposed the universal laws of physics, saying that what goes up does not necessarily come down.
Although what the questioner did not realise is that since the heart is situated on the left side, by acknowledging it as on the right, one is not steered by the instable emotions of the heart as there is nothing located beneath the right side!"
'I love you daddy and so do you .... I love me but don't you'

Work like you dont need the money
Dance like no one is watching
Love like you have never been hurt

The day when the wolf decides...

The day when the wolf will bring the little red riding hood down.
(It is what you people would call 'methaphorically speaking')

IOC day (Individual Oral Commentary)
Is it appropriate for a vulnerable girl to do something completely against her will and her instinct? "Should I skip it. Oh but I have to do it. I will do it but but what happens if I do it really bad or fail? Michelle's achievements: zero."

In retrospect the truth is that I know how these formal presentations in front of a superior authority affect me. They make me regress into a childlike state of 'please be proud of me'. If I fail, internally I beg and plead for proudness probably because the one source of proudness I had, my dad, disapeared. On the contrary if I succeed I blossom, shine and light up as well as inspire every dull soul around!

- Suprisingly the IOC went quite well and no anxiety was experienced throughout the presentation. Ultimately, I am satisfied with my effort and feel content about it, expressing neither of the extremes above.

Life is dandy, not always filled with candy

When in a state of joy
there comes bad boy
aiming to destroy
my beheld toy
and worst of all - enjoys it

I know that my passionate affection for my future can be overwhelming to most people but absolutely nothing accounts for the designed evil event of today.
It brought me down, made me sad, devistated actually, and I even became depersonalized.
If only you could understand the importance or at least show respect, then the result would have been completely different and this state of mind prevented.

The joy and radiance seen in me, does not come out of nowhere and is not accieved in a day or two but rather during a period of time with satisfying and upbeat events and compliments.
Furthermore it is kind of funny when one realises that happiness, the state of consciousness, can be taken away from you in a second. Perhaps what they say is true, that sorrow is the outcome of too much joy. Moreover I have been faced with a new life situation and learned that sometimes reality is too clear for me.

"You cannot prevent the birds of sadness from passing over your head, but you can prevent them from making a nest in your hair"