High trees catch lots of wind

When you have lost your strength, he will keep you moving.
When you have lost your way, he will guide you there.
And when you have lost all your courage, he will take your fear.
Like a bird with broken wings, he will always remind you that it is not how high you fly but the song you sing.

The wind blows free

I wish three times,

Watch them fly,

As far as my eyes can see.
Some day a fairy wind will blow
My wishes back to me!

Flying dreams

Dancing leaves,
They swing and sway,
Around, around
Till they touch the ground.
Until the branches
All are bare.
Then winter's frost,
Completes the show.
And dancing leaves
Are covered with snow.

Abandoned beliefs

Towards the end of a year and the beggining of a new one, introspection seems to come naturally. And after a busy year concerned with aquiring self fulfillment, through beliefs of perfection, self adjustment fits appropriately. This time of the year is when action and re-action usually sets in. If not, the mirror will drown you in its swan lake and dwelling as well as feeding on air, poisoned by the old, will certainly kill you. The rigidness and reluctance to change along with its false safety inevitably holds you back.

Ambivalence suggests strong feelings in opposition. The prefix is ambidextrous, which means both and the rest of it means vigour. The word suggests that you are torn between two opposing courses of action.

But you must make a choice. To achieve your true masterpiece you must abandon your old. Although, sometimes you simply must because it is the only way you will survive, if will is enough to make the choice of abandoning an old belief that is...

Live to fly...Fly to live

If swiming against the tide doesn't work, maybe your destiny is to flow together.

We don't like It and It is a pain. Step away from It, and It casts glances of disapproval, disdain and fear. It is silent but potentially deadly. As much as a tiny whisper, and It could be a melodramatic opera where the theme tune plays and everyone turns around and gasps... A lie. The lie of It.

And yet the Cowardly lion must face the the dark forest of life, the winged monkeys therein and the Wicked Witch of the West, who is threatening to shout and turn his fluffy friends into flameballs. Without resolve.

Anxiety beclouds the future

While it slowly eats your inner child,
there you stand motionless or hide.

Anxiety is the beginning of conscience, which is the parent of the soul but is not compatible with innocence. It is not fear exactly, because fear is something right in front of you, a real danger. Instead it is a generalized sense of dread about something out there that seems menacing, but in reality is not menacing and may not even be out there. As it continues, you will find it difficult to talk yourself out of this foreboding because you become trapped in an endless loop of what-ifs. However, those what-ifs do NOT exist! So such phrasing should not either. Disallow yourself to ever utter 'what if' again, and once you do, catch yourself in the process. You will be surprised at how often you use the phrase without realising it. Lastly, the most demanding part is exposure. If you are motionless, you have to force yourself to move. Whereas if you hide, you must force yourself out into the open.

The Suicide Tourist

Some call it assisted suicide. I call it honorable death!

In a documentary film called The Suicide Tourist, there was an admirable man called Craig Colby Ewert suffering from ALS, which was to fully paralyse him. He looked to be liberated but tone about dying was so very saddening, unhappy and fearful as he was to do something that would not have been his choice if he had other options. For his assisted suicide, he had asked to listen to Symphony No. 9 by Beethoven and you could see how he struggled to get the oral solution down as his eyes filled with sorrow about leaving.

This is real honorable courage, which reminds us that we fight death for a living every day, that we only have this second and therefore must not be faint-hearted.

Some of his words of wisdom:

"If I go through with it, I die as I must at some point. If I do not, then I choose to suffer and inflict suffer on my family. So it is either Death or, suffering and Death. Plants they are dying. They will be comming back next spring but I probably will not. I end this journey but I will start the next."

Misty green and blue

The trivial schadenfreude running through their veins. I am giving joy to those who take pleasure in others defeat. Sometimes it is hard to tell if the decisions that I am making are emotional, which makes it difficult to determine whether they are rational. They are constructive, but destructive as those I look up to are merely logical and cannot see any logic in them. I would give up my emotionability in a heartbeat, hence I can't because an emotion inhibits me to do so. This emotion mediates the belief that I am giving up something extraordinary that I will miss and regret. See, the paradox is that the latter is an emotion as well. How can I simply trash them? How are the logical ones able to be happy? And are they even happy?

Falling for the chauvinistic

Like a father to impress
Like a mothers mourning dress
If I ever make a mess
Don't think of me less

Everything is great for one purpose or another. Still it is like arsenik, if you get too caught up in it. So in the case of school, when you do as you are told under pressure, either the outcome or mentality will be very improper.

Therefore the competative behaviour comes down to this:

It is not that you don't win, it is that you absolutely refuse to lose. I'm going for the top and at this point no hinders can stop me.

Warbling mail of a very long tale

Do you notice when a warbling cat is strolling around?
Do you see the life or keep looking down on the gray cement?

I notice the cat! Because I see life and strive for the day when I will not, when I am alive instead of wishing I am...

I always think that there is nothing all you people can say, to change my mind, which is the case. But hence only when I feel discouraged. Because whenever I am encouraged and given nurturance, then I am able to look at different paths with different ways. In addition, I thank the realists for warmingly having a clear understanding of me with their kind helping hands. Given this, everything just seems slightly better: Fears gone. Stress relieved. Motivation ON. On a side note this makes me wonder, if shutting myself down this way for indulgement of the ego is a defense mechanism of some sort.

The american eagle was once almost extinct but it came back

2009, a year of vigilance

There's no need for a gun
And no more place to run
I've had my fun
Love from each one
Life has only begun

I embrace year 2009 as a year for the friendly, a year of vigilance. I see change, geniality and connection but inside I am the same as I ever were, exhilirated. Most important of all, I see mortality. It worries me to think that people who read the lines above will be reminded of the unspoken fear of humanity, as I know the distress that comes with it. However it is even more worrying to think that the subject remains in silence, agitating more and more eager young minds, without having anyone step up and talk about it. The reality of death could be one blink away and one would think it should be obvious but instead it is suppressed. Furthermore I am surprised that it is the most common fear out there, as I usually always think I am the ONLY one. Nonetheless, despite the flawed divisions of concepts, realize that death is needed for life as despair for bliss and night for day. Only then can you feel at ease and learn to see things for what they are, instead of why.
Because even Science only answers what is... not why!


May 2009 be a blessed year of flourish

Fear, what's gripping you?

What are we going to leave for the young ones?

Fear of Death
Fear of Failiure
Fear of the Economy
Fear of Insignificance
Fear of Betrayal

These are concepts that the world has been gazing at, dare I say, every single day. And we will keep on gazing at them, however now we have to face them as well, with gloom and doom. Battle lines are being drawn, and we face an era of big changes, an end to life as we know it. You think you are happy? Think again! It is that devil-may care attitude that will bring our civilization down. We are heading fate accompli and it will not be nice. It may be war with a predestined tragic end, a pronounced judgement or (more down to earth) a macabre decision, which we all must face. We could blame the future on the past, however we will not be able to excuse the present. We need to halt an erosion before positive change can appear.

WE must look out for those who need compassion, not fear and deviate it. WE must look twice, not overlook and ignore the ones who are needy. You see, your loving concern makes you a compassionate friend.

Distant lands, takes both my hands

Every time just like the last
On the ship I'm tied to the mast

Lost in my mind and lost in the world. I tread lifes path, wishing for what cannot be found or had. An all encompassing love; from mother, father, teachers or commoners. All i want is for my heart to feel whole again.

I have a peter pan complex and I am emotionally hypersensitive, artistic, intellectual and melodramatic. Furthermore, my personality type is ENFP, the advocate. My life long dream needed for all other dreams to come true has been crushed, I turned 17. My annoyingly perfect heart hurts and I don't know what to do seeing as I will never ever regain a chance to have a fulfilled sweet 16. I blame my mother and her man, an evil American psychiatrist claiming I live in a 'Rapunzel fantasy'. Their monstreous actions done indirect puts hate into my basket of usually only love. When mixed there is AMBIVALENCE. - It's their bad, yes! but NO it's actually my bad because I still love them.

Two sides of the same coin, is all one

We have a big world, to learn how to tie together.
We have a past and a future, to give us a present.
We have night and day, to separate light from dark.
We have good and evil, to make a choice.
We have life and death, to find peace in both.

Two sides of the same coin, it's all one.

'If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face - forever' - George Orwell.

An extraordinary example of my racing mind.'What if...' - The questions driven by FEAR of the UNKNOWN

All my times have come

Here but now they're gone

My frantic times has come towards it's end.
My soul is beyond the sky, the sea, the invisible land so very far away. Nothing is perfect anymore, everything is in agony. Closed eyes opened, but now they cannot close. We are in a time of uncertainty and unstable cynisism; the world is in a recession, mother nature is condemned, language is deteriorating and war is ahead and what not. We know nothing and believe in nothing.

Please forgive me if I have sinned, but imagine: if an open-minded thinker searching for the meaning of life finds that there is none. Then the only thing that he can do to implement meaning, is trade his old life for a religious faith and hope to be enligtened and find a meaning.
If there is no divine, this is in fact true oppression, although if there is, it is the doubters who are oppressed.
In the name of all vice, why the hell would such demons exist?

Oh gravity, what a tragedy

Why does the shadowing burden follow me wherever I go and demonized personifies in the present of evil?
It is only in the arms of love that the bird can fly but in the arms of oppression, the martyr is powerless and a victim of, what seems to be, forces beyond control. The antonym of perfection is the foundation to the barrier. Apparently abandonment is the right word, but I would rather have it be diss-perfection. There it is, I fear being diss-perfect and I sold my soul in an attempt to be perfect. 'I' am what I am required to be but how much of 'me' is left.

Dear entity, allow me to find a solution for retrieving my dynamic delirious state.

A time to be born, a time to die

In order for a meaning to exist, a belief has to be present.

To be the star I am, I should not fear the darkness,

for that is where I shine the brightest.

Courage is not the absense of fear, but the mastery of it.

A fire sparkling in my eyes

A sea nourished with my tears

A wind whirling through my mind

A land beautified by my heart

A supreme shadowing to cease my days