The path's unexpected ending

A path I have walked many many times, a path I cannot walk again. Passing a clear blue sky free of clouds and an explosion of flowers in the colors of the rainbow... It leads to a place completely unexpected.

The surrounding houses there display great character and carry themselves so well. They stand as remainders of tradition, honor and excellence.

After a longer gradual uphill or short steep staircase, you enter a park flourishing with diverse beauties. Of course the flowers are blue, but at least laughter can be heard. During daytime the playground is occupied by energetic little ones, parkbenches of the early 19th century are occupied by ladies passionately discussing trivial matter and young boys (not at school) enjoying their youth. At night, mystic people and secrecies lurk in the park, which I have not really explored, but they are eccentric and exciting. ~ An ambiance anything but bleak.

Passing a river of sparkling blue water. There you find voluptuous trees, some with big branches and grand deep green leaves in all shapes. They usually leave a shaddow on the grass below them in the face of a bright summer sun. This is why people picknic underneath them, protected below from the burning sun by its leaf-branches. Although what strikes me the most is how massive the bridge is and begin to think how ironic it is that I have only passed the bridge by car and never actually walked over it myself...

Towards the end you finally arrive into the arms of angelic hospitality, in which it does not ever matter if you are inside looking out...

A finer temptress

The mind of a finer tempress is surreal sometimes even beautiful,

but the nightmare is always lurking in the shadows of darkness,

waiting to come out and reveal its multiple personalities.

All my times have come

Here but now they're gone

My frantic times has come towards it's end.
My soul is beyond the sky, the sea, the invisible land so very far away. Nothing is perfect anymore, everything is in agony. Closed eyes opened, but now they cannot close. We are in a time of uncertainty and unstable cynisism; the world is in a recession, mother nature is condemned, language is deteriorating and war is ahead and what not. We know nothing and believe in nothing.

Please forgive me if I have sinned, but imagine: if an open-minded thinker searching for the meaning of life finds that there is none. Then the only thing that he can do to implement meaning, is trade his old life for a religious faith and hope to be enligtened and find a meaning.
If there is no divine, this is in fact true oppression, although if there is, it is the doubters who are oppressed.
In the name of all vice, why the hell would such demons exist?

Regret is insight that comes too late

Speaking from where I am at in life right now, it was so much better to be young, naive and less educated. Yet there were other things to complain about at the time, in other words one is never fully satisfied. Moreover I found a photo taken 4 years ago, 2004, which brought about feelings of nostalgia and I realise that there are so many mistakes that 'the girl on the photo' would never have done. Knowing that I made those mistakes and worst of all that making them undone is out of reach makes me wish I could start over which is why I try to hold on to a time when regrets were not present. I can not explain what happened and why, because I was naive and unaware. Although from the depths of my heart, I have owned my mistakes and take responsibility for my responses to all situations in my life but have no control over any of it, any more. Furthermore there are not to many left, who have not been overcome, piece by piece and sometimes, like now, it takes a nip at me but I'm too quick to ever be eaten by the monster of the past.

Pattern of life

To seek signs that represent divine revelation, is to linger over an unmeasured light or darkness so very intensive, or a sound so loud made by something enormous, yet coming from the smallest bell. What I am trying to say is that when something is too clear, of too big magnitude for our brain to pick up, we become muted, earsplitted, blinded, in other words break. So, do we really wan't to see and if we do why are we afraid?

Once a door has been opened, it cannot be undone yet with this knowledge we keep making the same mistakes over and over... and over.
∞

When the delusional takes over

"What truly is logic? Who decides reason?

To triumph, results are needed. Publishable, applicable results.
Since medicine is a kill-joy, it disables any work to be done beautifully. Therefore it is denied!
Furthermore what shall be done when one cannot reason their way out of a problem, because their mind is where problem is in the first place?
"- Like a diet of the mind; I need to choose not to indulge certain appetites; like my appetite for patterns; to imagine and dream. "

[21/11-...]

Justified truth of reality and language

It is hard to forget a world
where you felt loved and
experienced things
which could have been true,
- but may not have been.

Creativity, Brilliance and Madness
I have a low level of latent inhibition which means I focus on every sight, sound, and thought that enters my mind and apparently this can lead to madness.
Could this be the reason for the incoherence when describing my mental sets?

In addition the use of words in a coherent matter will not lead us to higher truth about reality, in fact they do not define it at all. Words are solely expressions of ideas but are not real! For example: you can not touch the word 'flower'.
Although words can refer to specific things but cause confusion as well.
Moreover in order to understand words we need to have an experience of the word of some sort.

• Try to explain the colour red to a blind man or, the other way around, the sound of a piano to a man who is deaf?

The truth is that being able to hear a sound or see a colour is not the same as the ability to understand spoken words or percieved images.
So the question, that remains unanswered and keeps appearing is:
What would we be without all our senses seeing as we would still be 'alive'?

To conclude we are victims of a disease created by words: thought. Our thoughts are made up of words, that are divided into fragmented bits and pieces whereas justified reality is undivided. Therefore the complex of problems lies in putting reality back into a whole, using thought.