The Virtue of Vanity

"Virtue would not go to such lengths,
if vanity did not keep her company"

Initially, it may seem as though people oppose vanity, however the approach whimsically changes as, clearly, behaviour speaks louder than words. Fire or Ice, thinking or feeling, life is a stage performance where being an ablaze and vibrant 'femme fatale a la amour propre' is no longer a sin, but rather a blessing.

Madful burning fire

A long week of hysteria and hard work has finally passed. Some have doubted and been devious phonies. One carefree said "I still win over you". An idealist said "I don't have time for you Michelle, I have more important buisness to attend to" and some commoners said "Stop worrying so much" in irritation.
Well guess what, I WON nonetheless. By fighting till the end and overcoming the implications in time, whereas others were far to late. When shall you realise that instead of bringing one another down, we should help each other. To be magnanimous, this is a winner. Hence, indulge me differently as always. Though, this time I have the gift of absolution and the righteous judge of vengeance. Nothing is ever going to keep me down.

Warbling mail of a very long tale

Do you notice when a warbling cat is strolling around?
Do you see the life or keep looking down on the gray cement?

I notice the cat! Because I see life and strive for the day when I will not, when I am alive instead of wishing I am...

I always think that there is nothing all you people can say, to change my mind, which is the case. But hence only when I feel discouraged. Because whenever I am encouraged and given nurturance, then I am able to look at different paths with different ways. In addition, I thank the realists for warmingly having a clear understanding of me with their kind helping hands. Given this, everything just seems slightly better: Fears gone. Stress relieved. Motivation ON. On a side note this makes me wonder, if shutting myself down this way for indulgement of the ego is a defense mechanism of some sort.

The american eagle was once almost extinct but it came back

2009, a year of vigilance

There's no need for a gun
And no more place to run
I've had my fun
Love from each one
Life has only begun

I embrace year 2009 as a year for the friendly, a year of vigilance. I see change, geniality and connection but inside I am the same as I ever were, exhilirated. Most important of all, I see mortality. It worries me to think that people who read the lines above will be reminded of the unspoken fear of humanity, as I know the distress that comes with it. However it is even more worrying to think that the subject remains in silence, agitating more and more eager young minds, without having anyone step up and talk about it. The reality of death could be one blink away and one would think it should be obvious but instead it is suppressed. Furthermore I am surprised that it is the most common fear out there, as I usually always think I am the ONLY one. Nonetheless, despite the flawed divisions of concepts, realize that death is needed for life as despair for bliss and night for day. Only then can you feel at ease and learn to see things for what they are, instead of why.
Because even Science only answers what is... not why!


May 2009 be a blessed year of flourish

All my times have come

Here but now they're gone

My frantic times has come towards it's end.
My soul is beyond the sky, the sea, the invisible land so very far away. Nothing is perfect anymore, everything is in agony. Closed eyes opened, but now they cannot close. We are in a time of uncertainty and unstable cynisism; the world is in a recession, mother nature is condemned, language is deteriorating and war is ahead and what not. We know nothing and believe in nothing.

Please forgive me if I have sinned, but imagine: if an open-minded thinker searching for the meaning of life finds that there is none. Then the only thing that he can do to implement meaning, is trade his old life for a religious faith and hope to be enligtened and find a meaning.
If there is no divine, this is in fact true oppression, although if there is, it is the doubters who are oppressed.
In the name of all vice, why the hell would such demons exist?

Oh gravity, what a tragedy

Why does the shadowing burden follow me wherever I go and demonized personifies in the present of evil?
It is only in the arms of love that the bird can fly but in the arms of oppression, the martyr is powerless and a victim of, what seems to be, forces beyond control. The antonym of perfection is the foundation to the barrier. Apparently abandonment is the right word, but I would rather have it be diss-perfection. There it is, I fear being diss-perfect and I sold my soul in an attempt to be perfect. 'I' am what I am required to be but how much of 'me' is left.

Dear entity, allow me to find a solution for retrieving my dynamic delirious state.

Regret is insight that comes too late

Speaking from where I am at in life right now, it was so much better to be young, naive and less educated. Yet there were other things to complain about at the time, in other words one is never fully satisfied. Moreover I found a photo taken 4 years ago, 2004, which brought about feelings of nostalgia and I realise that there are so many mistakes that 'the girl on the photo' would never have done. Knowing that I made those mistakes and worst of all that making them undone is out of reach makes me wish I could start over which is why I try to hold on to a time when regrets were not present. I can not explain what happened and why, because I was naive and unaware. Although from the depths of my heart, I have owned my mistakes and take responsibility for my responses to all situations in my life but have no control over any of it, any more. Furthermore there are not to many left, who have not been overcome, piece by piece and sometimes, like now, it takes a nip at me but I'm too quick to ever be eaten by the monster of the past.

When the delusional takes over

"What truly is logic? Who decides reason?

To triumph, results are needed. Publishable, applicable results.
Since medicine is a kill-joy, it disables any work to be done beautifully. Therefore it is denied!
Furthermore what shall be done when one cannot reason their way out of a problem, because their mind is where problem is in the first place?
"- Like a diet of the mind; I need to choose not to indulge certain appetites; like my appetite for patterns; to imagine and dream. "

[21/11-...]

Gloves hold my hand

Survival of the fitest is deficient when there is

no mutual character resemblance.

To little they held my hand

making no immense band

and now alone I stand

having made my own land

with my future planned

with hopes of being grande