To wonder about wandering mist

Maybe you are never alone,

Maybe you never wander on your own,

Maybe you are walking in a forest, or by a peaceful river.

Angels always surround you, and maybe friends are always there.

But maybe too dark a place makes it difficult to see, to not see.

To see what is not there, and to not see what is there...

Maybe someone lights up a candle just for you,

and candle light goes a long long way,

But candle lights dont last that long, do they?

And so if you must walk in a dark place,

maybe next time, bring the light with you.

The Little Mermaid

Only now did it appear to me. Ariel, the little mermaid in the deep blue ocean had Everything
! But she did not have Legs to walk on Land.
She always wanted to walk up there with the others but as she desperately tried to, she would just splash her way in the dry sand as they laughed at her. Hence, she always returned to her ocean. But then someone came along and gave her the greatest gift of all, the gift of absolution. A pair of legs. And you can bet they all lost their faces, for little did they know that She could walk with such grace.

Written in the stars

A life enchanting like magic, dramatic like in the movies and melodic like a lovesong. Reality can be heavy and challenging together with destiny that is unclear and hidden, but written in the stars. Also hidden, behind the moon in the light of the stars, the Dream and Love can give you courage and hope.
But on Love, should you dare to trust it?
Out there in the moonlight where your destiny is hidden in hope and peace, maybe you can't see what awaits you, but at least it is written in the stars... You may never touch the stars, but if you follow them they will surely lead you. It may not be where you intended to go but will almost always end where you need to be.

Doctorhood

First year of medical school was a whirlwind. To say you have a busy calendar feels like the biggest understatement of the century. Post high-school and upon entering medical school, perhaps you expect to meet compassionate people ready to save the world. People who are living somewhat healthier and more sophisticated lifestyles, without a la Société Dramatique... WRONG!

Turn the world up side down!
It is like the coldest, merciless, and stormiest mood disorder. Nothing like highschool at all, but regressively more like kindergarden. In fact it is resembling of a Zoo. It is a doctorhood. There are the flock of seaguls, the woodpeckers of mistrust, the night owls, the fierce cat family and the fish in the pond.

As for surviving (and) the immense amounts of knowledge one is required to learn, either you develop an allergy to failiure or tolerance and apathy, the last virtues of a dying society.

Waterfall of dreams

A porcelain cup painted with blossoms that touches lips which speak untruth, breaks its fragile shell into a thousand fragments. And the finest of tea falls onto the floor like a waterfall, each drop containing a dream.

The puppet doll factory

In a puppet doll factory, they produce endless supplies of marionettes but take no special orders. The marionette's range of movement is unlimited. They have the capacity to go anywhere. However, bound to strings, the circumstances limit the marionettes. They may think they are in control for they do actually have legs. Only, the legs are not what allows them to walk. It is the hands of the pupeteers that do. They control and manipulate every movement.

The marionettes manipulated by the pupeteer,
My rightup favourite theatre!

The path's unexpected ending

A path I have walked many many times, a path I cannot walk again. Passing a clear blue sky free of clouds and an explosion of flowers in the colors of the rainbow... It leads to a place completely unexpected.

The surrounding houses there display great character and carry themselves so well. They stand as remainders of tradition, honor and excellence.

After a longer gradual uphill or short steep staircase, you enter a park flourishing with diverse beauties. Of course the flowers are blue, but at least laughter can be heard. During daytime the playground is occupied by energetic little ones, parkbenches of the early 19th century are occupied by ladies passionately discussing trivial matter and young boys (not at school) enjoying their youth. At night, mystic people and secrecies lurk in the park, which I have not really explored, but they are eccentric and exciting. ~ An ambiance anything but bleak.

Passing a river of sparkling blue water. There you find voluptuous trees, some with big branches and grand deep green leaves in all shapes. They usually leave a shaddow on the grass below them in the face of a bright summer sun. This is why people picknic underneath them, protected below from the burning sun by its leaf-branches. Although what strikes me the most is how massive the bridge is and begin to think how ironic it is that I have only passed the bridge by car and never actually walked over it myself...

Towards the end you finally arrive into the arms of angelic hospitality, in which it does not ever matter if you are inside looking out...

The Fox and the Grapes

The fox who longed for grapes, beholds with pain
The tempting clusters were too high to gain;
Grieved in his heart he forced a careless smile,
And cried ,‘They’re sharp and hardly worth my while'.

All flowers are not in one garden

Fact or fiction? Realism or Idealism? Which do you prefer?

Does fact mean realism and fiction, Idealism?

Absolutely not!

Alot of people seem to think that realism provide facts that are accurate picture representations of reality. However, what they do not seem to realise is that if you do not believe in a concept such as idealism, then of course you will not see nor experience it's beauty either.

With that being said, what crosses America as so astounding to me is that it has more rugged reality than not, breeds realists in a majority, yet is in fact an idealistic country. As such, my whole view of America has changed quite abit... The US is even more courageous than I thought and blessed to have a mesmerizing minority of triumphing idealists. I dare even say that they built the country and made it into everything I love about it! However, being in the minority is problematic because it means that you flowers out there are not allowed to bloom freely. You, like myself in Sweden, probably face discouragement each and every day. So if you thought you were just another brick in the wall. You are not! You are a rare daffodill in the thrall.

Is it then any wonder that more than 44.3 million Americans suffer from e.g. depression and anxiety, where about half of those are on antidepressants? Now that is realism with some actual substance!

The flowers in a bouquet, Part II: Family

Parents who devote time, goodwill and commitment from the very beginning and sustain it are the ones who develope strong families! Not to paint up a picture for spectators, but rather for uniting happiness and longlasting bonds of trustworthy love.

These are the ones who understand that families come in all forms, shapes and colours and accept each other's differences instead of tearing them apart in an attempt to fulfill an idolized image. Because, despite the perfect picture families that always seem to loom over us on television, posters and bill boards, there are many more complexities and dynamics to families than the portrayed smiles and laughter.

Therefore since children in a family are like flowers in a bouquet: there is always one determined to face in an opposite direction from the way the arranger desires. The only difference is that a true family will let the fruit of it's tree bloom through unconditional love.

The flowers in a bouquet, Part I: Parenting

A family starts out with the parents, who then brings new life to this world. They are required to provide primary care (necessities) of their child, even by law. Although they should not feel required to, they should genuinely and willingly want to do so. Because if they do not, the more complex secondary care (love, affection, affirmation and stimulation) will be foreseen. Parents who only provide the former tend to be more absorbed in their own lives, thus emotionally neglecting their child. So because the latter is more complex and so many parents in the world fail to provide it, it is only natural if the victim developes complex problems later in life.

"If your child is on the line. You never surrender!!"

The Suicide Tourist

Some call it assisted suicide. I call it honorable death!

In a documentary film called The Suicide Tourist, there was an admirable man called Craig Colby Ewert suffering from ALS, which was to fully paralyse him. He looked to be liberated but tone about dying was so very saddening, unhappy and fearful as he was to do something that would not have been his choice if he had other options. For his assisted suicide, he had asked to listen to Symphony No. 9 by Beethoven and you could see how he struggled to get the oral solution down as his eyes filled with sorrow about leaving.

This is real honorable courage, which reminds us that we fight death for a living every day, that we only have this second and therefore must not be faint-hearted.

Some of his words of wisdom:

"If I go through with it, I die as I must at some point. If I do not, then I choose to suffer and inflict suffer on my family. So it is either Death or, suffering and Death. Plants they are dying. They will be comming back next spring but I probably will not. I end this journey but I will start the next."

Hold onto my wings

Pegasus horses are shy, flying horses, who live alone on lonesome mountain peaks and feed from intact grasslands. Only friendly people are lucky enough to find one and if they succeed in taming a Pegasus they will have a very faithful companion for life. They are snow-white or pitch-black horses with significant bird-like wings seated behind their neck.

It is said that Pegasus threw off a horse-rider who tried to use him in order to reach the skies. Pegasus sensed hubris and had the horse-rider fall down to earth while he himself flew to the skies and attained fortune. So what I am trying to say is that symbolically, I am up against a handful of pitch-black horses as well.

Not for cynical people: The Hollies - Pegasus

Madful burning fire

A long week of hysteria and hard work has finally passed. Some have doubted and been devious phonies. One carefree said "I still win over you". An idealist said "I don't have time for you Michelle, I have more important buisness to attend to" and some commoners said "Stop worrying so much" in irritation.
Well guess what, I WON nonetheless. By fighting till the end and overcoming the implications in time, whereas others were far to late. When shall you realise that instead of bringing one another down, we should help each other. To be magnanimous, this is a winner. Hence, indulge me differently as always. Though, this time I have the gift of absolution and the righteous judge of vengeance. Nothing is ever going to keep me down.

2009, a year of vigilance

There's no need for a gun
And no more place to run
I've had my fun
Love from each one
Life has only begun

I embrace year 2009 as a year for the friendly, a year of vigilance. I see change, geniality and connection but inside I am the same as I ever were, exhilirated. Most important of all, I see mortality. It worries me to think that people who read the lines above will be reminded of the unspoken fear of humanity, as I know the distress that comes with it. However it is even more worrying to think that the subject remains in silence, agitating more and more eager young minds, without having anyone step up and talk about it. The reality of death could be one blink away and one would think it should be obvious but instead it is suppressed. Furthermore I am surprised that it is the most common fear out there, as I usually always think I am the ONLY one. Nonetheless, despite the flawed divisions of concepts, realize that death is needed for life as despair for bliss and night for day. Only then can you feel at ease and learn to see things for what they are, instead of why.
Because even Science only answers what is... not why!


May 2009 be a blessed year of flourish

Fear, what's gripping you?

What are we going to leave for the young ones?

Fear of Death
Fear of Failiure
Fear of the Economy
Fear of Insignificance
Fear of Betrayal

These are concepts that the world has been gazing at, dare I say, every single day. And we will keep on gazing at them, however now we have to face them as well, with gloom and doom. Battle lines are being drawn, and we face an era of big changes, an end to life as we know it. You think you are happy? Think again! It is that devil-may care attitude that will bring our civilization down. We are heading fate accompli and it will not be nice. It may be war with a predestined tragic end, a pronounced judgement or (more down to earth) a macabre decision, which we all must face. We could blame the future on the past, however we will not be able to excuse the present. We need to halt an erosion before positive change can appear.

WE must look out for those who need compassion, not fear and deviate it. WE must look twice, not overlook and ignore the ones who are needy. You see, your loving concern makes you a compassionate friend.

Two sides of the same coin, is all one

We have a big world, to learn how to tie together.
We have a past and a future, to give us a present.
We have night and day, to separate light from dark.
We have good and evil, to make a choice.
We have life and death, to find peace in both.

Two sides of the same coin, it's all one.

'If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face - forever' - George Orwell.

An extraordinary example of my racing mind.'What if...' - The questions driven by FEAR of the UNKNOWN

Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer

My enemies are defined as beloved friends but with whome I also compete with and therefore at the same time I despise. I portray all my environment and the people in it as loving, beautiful and caring. There is a theory that I lay my own characteristics onto others so that I can beautify and relate to them. Although in accordance to the theory above, this also means that I lay my 'negative' characteristics onto others, which are the ones I compete with. In other words, the people that I compete with reflect something that battles within myself. Consequently I value my 'enemies' very high and care alot about appraisal of my accomplishments.

Oh gravity, what a tragedy

Why does the shadowing burden follow me wherever I go and demonized personifies in the present of evil?
It is only in the arms of love that the bird can fly but in the arms of oppression, the martyr is powerless and a victim of, what seems to be, forces beyond control. The antonym of perfection is the foundation to the barrier. Apparently abandonment is the right word, but I would rather have it be diss-perfection. There it is, I fear being diss-perfect and I sold my soul in an attempt to be perfect. 'I' am what I am required to be but how much of 'me' is left.

Dear entity, allow me to find a solution for retrieving my dynamic delirious state.

At my good heart is oppression

I am bemused by the statements I hear quite often these days, that I need to be more subjective and more dynamic. What?!?
For so long I have been criticized for being subjective and informal. Therefore I have fought to become objective and academically formal, since I was told that is the only way to be substantial. Although now I am being told that I need to be more 'alive, personal, emotive' and more 'Michelle' when I have strived to get rid of those fields. Though, still, worst of all is that I had to lapse the former down in order to achieve the latter, and I don't mean temporarily! Then suddently I'm expected to bring it back on command. - Evil tyranny!

I praise myself for being prodigious and my actions for being well adjusted.