Faithful dreams do not drown

In a godforsaken town,
Where dreams are set to drown.
Unlawful and full of theft,
Yet there we were placed and left.
Sometimes It gets lonesome,
For it is roofless and loathsome.
I don't stay below most water,
For I am blessed to be a daughter.
And always with me is my sacred love,
Sent from heaven up above.

To wonder about wandering mist

Maybe you are never alone,

Maybe you never wander on your own,

Maybe you are walking in a forest, or by a peaceful river.

Angels always surround you, and maybe friends are always there.

But maybe too dark a place makes it difficult to see, to not see.

To see what is not there, and to not see what is there...

Maybe someone lights up a candle just for you,

and candle light goes a long long way,

But candle lights dont last that long, do they?

And so if you must walk in a dark place,

maybe next time, bring the light with you.

Doctorhood

First year of medical school was a whirlwind. To say you have a busy calendar feels like the biggest understatement of the century. Post high-school and upon entering medical school, perhaps you expect to meet compassionate people ready to save the world. People who are living somewhat healthier and more sophisticated lifestyles, without a la Société Dramatique... WRONG!

Turn the world up side down!
It is like the coldest, merciless, and stormiest mood disorder. Nothing like highschool at all, but regressively more like kindergarden. In fact it is resembling of a Zoo. It is a doctorhood. There are the flock of seaguls, the woodpeckers of mistrust, the night owls, the fierce cat family and the fish in the pond.

As for surviving (and) the immense amounts of knowledge one is required to learn, either you develop an allergy to failiure or tolerance and apathy, the last virtues of a dying society.

Waterfall of dreams

A porcelain cup painted with blossoms that touches lips which speak untruth, breaks its fragile shell into a thousand fragments. And the finest of tea falls onto the floor like a waterfall, each drop containing a dream.

The puppet doll factory

In a puppet doll factory, they produce endless supplies of marionettes but take no special orders. The marionette's range of movement is unlimited. They have the capacity to go anywhere. However, bound to strings, the circumstances limit the marionettes. They may think they are in control for they do actually have legs. Only, the legs are not what allows them to walk. It is the hands of the pupeteers that do. They control and manipulate every movement.

The marionettes manipulated by the pupeteer,
My rightup favourite theatre!

The wind blows free

I wish three times,

Watch them fly,

As far as my eyes can see.
Some day a fairy wind will blow
My wishes back to me!

The passive survival

By being a result of your past, all you may have is a bunch of yesterdays and perhaps very few tomorrows. You call out for something wider than this world can give. So naturally giving up may seem the most suitable. It is the easy way out, but see it is not a way out. It is the road to degenerating into further tragedy and misery.
You must never complete your life sentence to being sick because life is never solely terrible. For every piece of happiness there is a piece of unhappiness. If one of them is not there, you have not told the whole story. That is how life is. So at some point you have to stop telling yourself the same story, in other words the bitter one in bitter-sweet.

Moments of escapism

A spiral wind to end nowhere,

Keeps me swirling since I do not dare.

When happy cherub faces sting,

Feathers and tears fall down my wing.

Yet always kept in steady a hold,

Thus, escaping the chevy cold.

The Suicide Tourist

Some call it assisted suicide. I call it honorable death!

In a documentary film called The Suicide Tourist, there was an admirable man called Craig Colby Ewert suffering from ALS, which was to fully paralyse him. He looked to be liberated but tone about dying was so very saddening, unhappy and fearful as he was to do something that would not have been his choice if he had other options. For his assisted suicide, he had asked to listen to Symphony No. 9 by Beethoven and you could see how he struggled to get the oral solution down as his eyes filled with sorrow about leaving.

This is real honorable courage, which reminds us that we fight death for a living every day, that we only have this second and therefore must not be faint-hearted.

Some of his words of wisdom:

"If I go through with it, I die as I must at some point. If I do not, then I choose to suffer and inflict suffer on my family. So it is either Death or, suffering and Death. Plants they are dying. They will be comming back next spring but I probably will not. I end this journey but I will start the next."

A finer temptress

The mind of a finer tempress is surreal sometimes even beautiful,

but the nightmare is always lurking in the shadows of darkness,

waiting to come out and reveal its multiple personalities.

Misty green and blue

The trivial schadenfreude running through their veins. I am giving joy to those who take pleasure in others defeat. Sometimes it is hard to tell if the decisions that I am making are emotional, which makes it difficult to determine whether they are rational. They are constructive, but destructive as those I look up to are merely logical and cannot see any logic in them. I would give up my emotionability in a heartbeat, hence I can't because an emotion inhibits me to do so. This emotion mediates the belief that I am giving up something extraordinary that I will miss and regret. See, the paradox is that the latter is an emotion as well. How can I simply trash them? How are the logical ones able to be happy? And are they even happy?

2009, a year of vigilance

There's no need for a gun
And no more place to run
I've had my fun
Love from each one
Life has only begun

I embrace year 2009 as a year for the friendly, a year of vigilance. I see change, geniality and connection but inside I am the same as I ever were, exhilirated. Most important of all, I see mortality. It worries me to think that people who read the lines above will be reminded of the unspoken fear of humanity, as I know the distress that comes with it. However it is even more worrying to think that the subject remains in silence, agitating more and more eager young minds, without having anyone step up and talk about it. The reality of death could be one blink away and one would think it should be obvious but instead it is suppressed. Furthermore I am surprised that it is the most common fear out there, as I usually always think I am the ONLY one. Nonetheless, despite the flawed divisions of concepts, realize that death is needed for life as despair for bliss and night for day. Only then can you feel at ease and learn to see things for what they are, instead of why.
Because even Science only answers what is... not why!


May 2009 be a blessed year of flourish

Two sides of the same coin, is all one

We have a big world, to learn how to tie together.
We have a past and a future, to give us a present.
We have night and day, to separate light from dark.
We have good and evil, to make a choice.
We have life and death, to find peace in both.

Two sides of the same coin, it's all one.

'If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face - forever' - George Orwell.

An extraordinary example of my racing mind.'What if...' - The questions driven by FEAR of the UNKNOWN

All my times have come

Here but now they're gone

My frantic times has come towards it's end.
My soul is beyond the sky, the sea, the invisible land so very far away. Nothing is perfect anymore, everything is in agony. Closed eyes opened, but now they cannot close. We are in a time of uncertainty and unstable cynisism; the world is in a recession, mother nature is condemned, language is deteriorating and war is ahead and what not. We know nothing and believe in nothing.

Please forgive me if I have sinned, but imagine: if an open-minded thinker searching for the meaning of life finds that there is none. Then the only thing that he can do to implement meaning, is trade his old life for a religious faith and hope to be enligtened and find a meaning.
If there is no divine, this is in fact true oppression, although if there is, it is the doubters who are oppressed.
In the name of all vice, why the hell would such demons exist?

Oh gravity, what a tragedy

Why does the shadowing burden follow me wherever I go and demonized personifies in the present of evil?
It is only in the arms of love that the bird can fly but in the arms of oppression, the martyr is powerless and a victim of, what seems to be, forces beyond control. The antonym of perfection is the foundation to the barrier. Apparently abandonment is the right word, but I would rather have it be diss-perfection. There it is, I fear being diss-perfect and I sold my soul in an attempt to be perfect. 'I' am what I am required to be but how much of 'me' is left.

Dear entity, allow me to find a solution for retrieving my dynamic delirious state.

A time to be born, a time to die

In order for a meaning to exist, a belief has to be present.

To be the star I am, I should not fear the darkness,

for that is where I shine the brightest.

Courage is not the absense of fear, but the mastery of it.

A fire sparkling in my eyes

A sea nourished with my tears

A wind whirling through my mind

A land beautified by my heart

A supreme shadowing to cease my days

Everyone is a storyteller

The winter is here, the sky is gray,
the wind is cold and the sun is gone.
The grass is frosted, the flowers are dead,
the bliss is gone and so is the swan.
The menace is present, the swords are drawn,
the knight is brave and the reaper is grim.
The passion is clear, the demise ends bold,
the sublime is blinding yet thee must it all behold.
For the painter holds the tale to be told, in the new day of dawn.

I have outdone myself again and achieved a second transcendence to my benefit. My best poem yet, and an introduction to my piano sonata.
I know that I do not know the meaning of happenings, however today was a productive day with elegant approaches and enthusiastic people. Still. Surprisingly, I kept my feet on the ground and noticed them and their spirit without being in accordance to me. This was in fact very pleasant and blissful and undeniably beautiful, to acknowledge someones smile without the 'me, me, me'.

Towards the horizon

Righteous judge of vengeance,
grant me the gift of absolution
before the day of retribution.

What happened to the notions of love, grown tarnished and tad.
To be majestic and cruel, hoist by one's own petard.
These assaults on serenity and levels of effort misperceived.
The golden light of glow, nor bared or beheld.
Soon wishing sensitive introspection, rather than ashes of malice.
Forsakenly, many miles of untravelled road has gone to waste.

Damned art thee - there is still time to change the road thee art on.

When there is a will, there is a way!

Sometimes when I find myself in a state of hubris, I seem to feel melancholy at the same time.
How can the light that burned so brightly
Suddenly burn so pale?
Seeing as language and verbal expressions lack and have big holes, we are controlled by it. Furthermore I shall try to explain my spirit the best way possible; I crave help because at the present I feel insane as it is getting too dark for me to see and the badge located on the left side on my chest is burning. Now even in my restless dreams I walk alone.
Fortunately when there is a will, there is a way!

My dad once told me something like:
"Once upon a time, a wise man was asked if he knew where his heart was located. He responded as such:
- I shall give you only one answer, it is situated on my right side as he raised his left hand clapping his right chest, nodding.
Astonished the questioner looked at him wondering how a wise man could state something so faulty to this magnitude that opposed the universal laws of physics, saying that what goes up does not necessarily come down.
Although what the questioner did not realise is that since the heart is situated on the left side, by acknowledging it as on the right, one is not steered by the instable emotions of the heart as there is nothing located beneath the right side!"
'I love you daddy and so do you .... I love me but don't you'

Work like you dont need the money
Dance like no one is watching
Love like you have never been hurt