To wonder about wandering mist

Maybe you are never alone,

Maybe you never wander on your own,

Maybe you are walking in a forest, or by a peaceful river.

Angels always surround you, and maybe friends are always there.

But maybe too dark a place makes it difficult to see, to not see.

To see what is not there, and to not see what is there...

Maybe someone lights up a candle just for you,

and candle light goes a long long way,

But candle lights dont last that long, do they?

And so if you must walk in a dark place,

maybe next time, bring the light with you.

The flowers in a bouquet, Part I: Parenting

A family starts out with the parents, who then brings new life to this world. They are required to provide primary care (necessities) of their child, even by law. Although they should not feel required to, they should genuinely and willingly want to do so. Because if they do not, the more complex secondary care (love, affection, affirmation and stimulation) will be foreseen. Parents who only provide the former tend to be more absorbed in their own lives, thus emotionally neglecting their child. So because the latter is more complex and so many parents in the world fail to provide it, it is only natural if the victim developes complex problems later in life.

"If your child is on the line. You never surrender!!"

Carelessness

Parenting is Not a job! You cannot treat a child as if they are in the way all the time, ignore them when they need to talk, or make them feel as if their feelings are not important.

- I was a great mother but what I had to go through to keep
you in one piece...

Who says I'm in one piece?

- You're the most normal person I know.

Normal??

You know, everybody tells me to go

But I can't, I can't leave you,

If something bad happens to you... it's my fault

I'm what went wrong in your life.

I'm what you struggled to survive.

You had to know that you wrote a book about it.

I'm just incredibly screwed up,

and just so we're real clear about this,

I blame you.

Distant lands, takes both my hands

Every time just like the last
On the ship I'm tied to the mast

Lost in my mind and lost in the world. I tread lifes path, wishing for what cannot be found or had. An all encompassing love; from mother, father, teachers or commoners. All i want is for my heart to feel whole again.

I have a peter pan complex and I am emotionally hypersensitive, artistic, intellectual and melodramatic. Furthermore, my personality type is ENFP, the advocate. My life long dream needed for all other dreams to come true has been crushed, I turned 17. My annoyingly perfect heart hurts and I don't know what to do seeing as I will never ever regain a chance to have a fulfilled sweet 16. I blame my mother and her man, an evil American psychiatrist claiming I live in a 'Rapunzel fantasy'. Their monstreous actions done indirect puts hate into my basket of usually only love. When mixed there is AMBIVALENCE. - It's their bad, yes! but NO it's actually my bad because I still love them.

At my good heart is oppression

I am bemused by the statements I hear quite often these days, that I need to be more subjective and more dynamic. What?!?
For so long I have been criticized for being subjective and informal. Therefore I have fought to become objective and academically formal, since I was told that is the only way to be substantial. Although now I am being told that I need to be more 'alive, personal, emotive' and more 'Michelle' when I have strived to get rid of those fields. Though, still, worst of all is that I had to lapse the former down in order to achieve the latter, and I don't mean temporarily! Then suddently I'm expected to bring it back on command. - Evil tyranny!

I praise myself for being prodigious and my actions for being well adjusted.

When the delusional takes over

"What truly is logic? Who decides reason?

To triumph, results are needed. Publishable, applicable results.
Since medicine is a kill-joy, it disables any work to be done beautifully. Therefore it is denied!
Furthermore what shall be done when one cannot reason their way out of a problem, because their mind is where problem is in the first place?
"- Like a diet of the mind; I need to choose not to indulge certain appetites; like my appetite for patterns; to imagine and dream. "

[21/11-...]

Towards the horizon

Righteous judge of vengeance,
grant me the gift of absolution
before the day of retribution.

What happened to the notions of love, grown tarnished and tad.
To be majestic and cruel, hoist by one's own petard.
These assaults on serenity and levels of effort misperceived.
The golden light of glow, nor bared or beheld.
Soon wishing sensitive introspection, rather than ashes of malice.
Forsakenly, many miles of untravelled road has gone to waste.

Damned art thee - there is still time to change the road thee art on.