Every empty park bench has a story

Out in a small rugged old town there is a park with alot of life. It has a park bench where two old friends once used to sit and both giggle and silent away.

Towards the end of each day, a man sits on it alone. He listens to the birds whistle and sing, watches the children play and observes the people walking on the park trail.

Meanwhile, surrounding the trail and bench wanders a little girl with starry curious eyes in the grassy field. She is seeking flowers, the first signs of spring flowers. People always tell her that it is far too early on and that she will never find any flowers, yet she keeps looking for them.

Unnoticed, this little girl walks up to the man and asks
'Why are you talking to the wind?'.
He looks a little startled but shortly responds kindly
- 'Because the wind carries prayers'.

And as the girl grew up, she carried that with her and nowadays the spring flowers are always there in time for her.

Misty green and blue

The trivial schadenfreude running through their veins. I am giving joy to those who take pleasure in others defeat. Sometimes it is hard to tell if the decisions that I am making are emotional, which makes it difficult to determine whether they are rational. They are constructive, but destructive as those I look up to are merely logical and cannot see any logic in them. I would give up my emotionability in a heartbeat, hence I can't because an emotion inhibits me to do so. This emotion mediates the belief that I am giving up something extraordinary that I will miss and regret. See, the paradox is that the latter is an emotion as well. How can I simply trash them? How are the logical ones able to be happy? And are they even happy?

Madful burning fire

A long week of hysteria and hard work has finally passed. Some have doubted and been devious phonies. One carefree said "I still win over you". An idealist said "I don't have time for you Michelle, I have more important buisness to attend to" and some commoners said "Stop worrying so much" in irritation.
Well guess what, I WON nonetheless. By fighting till the end and overcoming the implications in time, whereas others were far to late. When shall you realise that instead of bringing one another down, we should help each other. To be magnanimous, this is a winner. Hence, indulge me differently as always. Though, this time I have the gift of absolution and the righteous judge of vengeance. Nothing is ever going to keep me down.

Two sides of the same coin, is all one

We have a big world, to learn how to tie together.
We have a past and a future, to give us a present.
We have night and day, to separate light from dark.
We have good and evil, to make a choice.
We have life and death, to find peace in both.

Two sides of the same coin, it's all one.

'If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face - forever' - George Orwell.

An extraordinary example of my racing mind.'What if...' - The questions driven by FEAR of the UNKNOWN

Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer

My enemies are defined as beloved friends but with whome I also compete with and therefore at the same time I despise. I portray all my environment and the people in it as loving, beautiful and caring. There is a theory that I lay my own characteristics onto others so that I can beautify and relate to them. Although in accordance to the theory above, this also means that I lay my 'negative' characteristics onto others, which are the ones I compete with. In other words, the people that I compete with reflect something that battles within myself. Consequently I value my 'enemies' very high and care alot about appraisal of my accomplishments.

All my times have come

Here but now they're gone

My frantic times has come towards it's end.
My soul is beyond the sky, the sea, the invisible land so very far away. Nothing is perfect anymore, everything is in agony. Closed eyes opened, but now they cannot close. We are in a time of uncertainty and unstable cynisism; the world is in a recession, mother nature is condemned, language is deteriorating and war is ahead and what not. We know nothing and believe in nothing.

Please forgive me if I have sinned, but imagine: if an open-minded thinker searching for the meaning of life finds that there is none. Then the only thing that he can do to implement meaning, is trade his old life for a religious faith and hope to be enligtened and find a meaning.
If there is no divine, this is in fact true oppression, although if there is, it is the doubters who are oppressed.
In the name of all vice, why the hell would such demons exist?

Oh gravity, what a tragedy

Why does the shadowing burden follow me wherever I go and demonized personifies in the present of evil?
It is only in the arms of love that the bird can fly but in the arms of oppression, the martyr is powerless and a victim of, what seems to be, forces beyond control. The antonym of perfection is the foundation to the barrier. Apparently abandonment is the right word, but I would rather have it be diss-perfection. There it is, I fear being diss-perfect and I sold my soul in an attempt to be perfect. 'I' am what I am required to be but how much of 'me' is left.

Dear entity, allow me to find a solution for retrieving my dynamic delirious state.

A time to be born, a time to die

In order for a meaning to exist, a belief has to be present.

To be the star I am, I should not fear the darkness,

for that is where I shine the brightest.

Courage is not the absense of fear, but the mastery of it.

A fire sparkling in my eyes

A sea nourished with my tears

A wind whirling through my mind

A land beautified by my heart

A supreme shadowing to cease my days

At my good heart is oppression

I am bemused by the statements I hear quite often these days, that I need to be more subjective and more dynamic. What?!?
For so long I have been criticized for being subjective and informal. Therefore I have fought to become objective and academically formal, since I was told that is the only way to be substantial. Although now I am being told that I need to be more 'alive, personal, emotive' and more 'Michelle' when I have strived to get rid of those fields. Though, still, worst of all is that I had to lapse the former down in order to achieve the latter, and I don't mean temporarily! Then suddently I'm expected to bring it back on command. - Evil tyranny!

I praise myself for being prodigious and my actions for being well adjusted.

Regret is insight that comes too late

Speaking from where I am at in life right now, it was so much better to be young, naive and less educated. Yet there were other things to complain about at the time, in other words one is never fully satisfied. Moreover I found a photo taken 4 years ago, 2004, which brought about feelings of nostalgia and I realise that there are so many mistakes that 'the girl on the photo' would never have done. Knowing that I made those mistakes and worst of all that making them undone is out of reach makes me wish I could start over which is why I try to hold on to a time when regrets were not present. I can not explain what happened and why, because I was naive and unaware. Although from the depths of my heart, I have owned my mistakes and take responsibility for my responses to all situations in my life but have no control over any of it, any more. Furthermore there are not to many left, who have not been overcome, piece by piece and sometimes, like now, it takes a nip at me but I'm too quick to ever be eaten by the monster of the past.

So much to care for

[Left: Me Right: One knows if it symbolizes oneself]

I accept what I can not change however that does not mean I will change in accordance to that. Have you ever had recurring imaginary thoughts, containing yourself performing an action of wish, yet when it comes to reality you don't fulfill it even though you could. Instead you let the feeling of persecution inhibit you. Moreover I am pretty confident that the you I am refering to experience it exactly the same way. I love when you put the ear to ear smile on my face and broaden my wide-eyed horizon.

Take my hand

Love goes where my rosemary blows

Time passes so quickly, soon going from a sweet 16 (not necessarily so sweet) to what shall be an interesting sweet 17. Often when time flies, it is a sign that life's surprises has kept us busy enough to enable us to escape from the past. Nevertheless life does not have to be defective and to be content is essentially not too bad. The future times to come will involve a whole lot more witnessing of the shear beauty and elegant magnificence of what is quite breathtaking - life!

So cold the wind has blown
felt abyssal to the bone
dwelling on the unknown
with a chromatic heart of stone
At last infringing my own
admitting to my entire throne