~2014~

When people are not in my arms reach. I reach them with a prayer and surround them with gods care. 

Happy New year to all my flowers I wish you a beautiful year and the best life for ever.

~ pristine girl 

My never ending miracles

Sometimes I feel like im drifting to far,

I think Im losing site of the shore,
But my sweet will catch my fall,
And then Im not so lost anymore. <3

The lonely fox was now happy

There was a lonely fox that lived far away. So he left and went searching for a beautiful farm. And when he got there he said: "My, my this is well".

The lonely fox was now happy,

And all was well.

Truth of love

~ Dolphin said to Water:
You can't see my tears
Because I Am in The Water.
~ Water Replied:
But I can feel your tears
Because you are in my heart.

~

Have you ever given up on everyone you love, for the sake of doing something you think you love to do? 

Studying medicine was just that. Loosing everything in order to do the thing you're supposed to do..

BFF goodbyes

Sometimes in your life you meet a very special precious person who the thought of living without is beyond imaginable. 

Being especially prone to seeing fascination and all the fantastic qualities of people I'll miss, I've experienced far more of these losses than anyone. Farewells & good byes are my worst nightmare. They make me vulnerable.. And the shell in this michelle is a tough one to break. 

From day one i went on my journey to become a Doctoresse, I met a young woman at the inaguration. We were all innocent fresh students, unaware of what waited ahead. Seated alphabetically ordered according to our last names.. 

Strikingly enough, our names were as similar as Huey & Duey differing only by ONE letter. She was dark, I was light. She was short, I was tall. She went to IB so did I. She was from Denmark, but not quite. I was from Sweden, but not quite. We were both single children living with our moms. Not really spoiled, but that didnt stop us from fashion and fun.

After 3 years of medical school our time came to part.. She moved away. And I'm happy that she did because the suffering here is a disgrace. Thank god ease came her way. She deserves the heavens rain of diamonds and blossoms for how she turned my world around and helped form the almost woman i am today. She came a really long way and I always knew she was smart but she bloomed into a confident woman I hope to be like some day. I know she'll be fine wherever in the world she may go.

Lucky for me she's almost next door.

Do what you were born to do

You may not know me because of my stunning looks or outstanding grades! But maybe there is a chance you know me as 'the girl with the pink pen, color pens or colorful notes; simply (not so simply) because I repainted and rewrote almost all of 'Clinically Oriented Human Anatomy 6th ed.' by Keith Moore, word by word, by hand to my own A4 papers. It was during my first year of medical school. Thanks Gd now I'm now well in fourth.

A sparkling Fourth of July

Its a Star-Spangled kind of day.

Diamonds In The Dark,

Diamonds in the sky,

Every heart beats true, 

For the Red, White and Blue.

Fireworks fun,

Fireworks frenzy,

A high flying flag,

Far up in the blue.

Oh say you can see,

All stars, stripes and smiles.

For Hip Hip Hooray,

It's Independence Day.

The land of the free ,

And home of the brave. 

America, America!

My soul and my heart.

Oh American spirit, 

The land that I Love.  

A place in need of so much help, 

yet there is no room for it at all..

This is me.

I'm a medical student. Abroad, in a tarnished quickly growing town. The prognosis looks very good for this town in terms of development.

However many areas are rural and worn down, impoverished reminiscences of wartime. There is even a known prostitute street.. 

As bad as this wretched fact sounds. The real pest is actually of the people and not their low means or the unequality between them. 

It is their resentment towards the foreign, indifference towards the needy and indulgence of their past misery. People are greedy, a whole society diseased by embracing sadness and grief! 

On the other side of the spectrum are people who got out of the dip and created an invisible prestige exempted-people-only society, an arrogant balloon-head society that takes joy and pride in being superior to others. And now I know that those who don't are people with big mouths, with a vision and perhaps even a big heart, but they cannot stand up to their brotherhood.

So who am I in the midst of it all to think I can help somebody? Or maybe the fact that I want to! is just as big!

~ Pristine

Girl, interrupted

“Was I ever crazy? Maybe. Or maybe life is… 

Crazy isn’t being broken or swallowing a dark secret. It’s you or me amplified. If you ever told a lie and enjoyed it. If you ever wished you could be a child forever.” 

~ Susanna Kaysen

Praise goes up, blessings come down.

The key is to listen

The Heart feels the soul and the Mind listens. 

When I don't know the right decision to take, 

I try to imagine what the worst decision would be. Somehow that consistently leads me to a good outcome.

A moving sea

This is not a goodbye, this is a thank you.

Thank you for coming into my life and giving me joy, thank you for loving me and receiving my love in return. Thank you for memories I will cherish forever. But most of all, thank you for showing me that there will come a time when I can eventually let you go.

I love you

Golden words

~Only those who can see the invisible can do the impossible.

~If you see ten troubles coming down the road, you can be sure that nine will run into the ditch before they reach you.

~When the world says, "Give up," Hope whispers, "Try it one more time".

~When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we took so long at the closed door that we don't see the one that has been opened up for us.

~I may not be there yet, but I'm closer than I was yesterday.

~Sometimes things will fall apart in order for other things to fall into place.

~Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwords to solve other problems laws.

Bright enough to show me

Show me a sign. That’s all I need. Then I’ll know where I’m headed and what to do. A sign, dear God: one that I’ll know is from you.

Be sure to wear some flowers in your hair

I would rather have flowers in my hair, than diamonds around my neck.

Even In wonderland,

Every day has struggle, drama and trauma..

But a Lover of life, an explorer of thoughts, is an unfathomable and Possibilitarian extraordinaire!

Playing down the rabbit hole, that is just how my life has been. Wandering the long corridors of experience, testing the waters of change, tasting the air for possibilities.
Filled with gratitude for all that has ever been, all that is and all that is yet to come. I know nothing else and wouldn't change it for the world!

Amongst the dross of life I may sometimes overlook the good in it.
To aware and remind myself that there is always an even better way ahead of me.

✽¸.•Pristine•.¸✽

Some things never really change...

People do not die from suicide,
~ They die from sadness.

For:Give and For:Get

“The universe doesn’t always give back love from where you gave it. Your generosity to one person may be returned by a complete stranger. But if you keep putting it out wherever you see that it’s needed, you’ll keep getting it back in buckets.”

The feelings inside me

Keep alive the sacred flame of madness, but... behave as a normal person

Embracing spring

1. Stay healthy and get outside.
For example, on jogs we see our stamina or in ab-class we see our competitiveness side, and in our daily walks we can see our stillness and appreciation for nature.

2. Listen and be supportive.
Lend a good ear and your hearts come closer together.

3. Be creative ~ Change is good.
Small changes creates new growth and stimulation.

4. Have good conversations ~ Learn new things.
When temporary things fall away that make you happy – a good conversation can last a life-time.

5. Be alive and excited about life.
Being energetic and happy and willing to try new things. You could change the atmosphere of your home and relationship just by changing your mood.

6. Have a good girl friend (or Mom).
There are some things that you just need to tell a girl friend because she will just understand.

7. Dress up and smell good.
Very often we dress up for the world of strangers who we don’t know or at our workplace, do the same for your family and friends. Also praying and making heartfelt prayers all add to the beauty of you.

8. Be affectionate ~ Don’t hold back your Love.
Human touch, whether it be holding hands or a hug, leads to Mercy in relationships whether it is with your husband, sister, friends or even your parents.

9. Go the extra mile.
Going the extra mile means doing something that goes above and beyond what is expected of you. It's in the little details you pay attention to that bring out the extraordinary.

10. Say 'Thank you' ~ Be grateful.
Remember the big things and the small things and soon all small things will turn into big things!

Nobody..

Nobody gives in and Nobody gives.
Nobody hears me but Nobody cares.
Nobody fears me but Nobody just stares.
Nobody stays away but Nobody remains.

It's all mine

What is YOURS when
your pain is mine to bear.
This sad math is mine.
This mad path is mine.

Me forever

No one is ever going to love more than I do.

I will do anything to make you smile.
It is my better side of you to admire..

Look up

Just because something falls,
doesn't mean it is broken.
A fall comes to an end and something broken is never so broken that it can't be repaired.

~ You are taken apart to be put back together correctly.

When the nightmare ends

Reeling through an endless fall,
An ever-living ghost of what once was.
The whole thing tumbling down,
Maybe you even liked it that way,
But you're better off now..

A strong vine with fragile flowers

Bright like a star,
Strong as a hickory,
Fragile as a flower.

Some say: “it depends on how a member reacts.” Yes, that is true...
I am a product of a broken family.
I reacted in a kind of silence, initially. Acted out shortly after, had my own kind of addictions and developed despicable behaviors; defiance to my close ones, avoidance of school yet acquiring of knowledge. An agitated inner..
I felt that I was destined to experience only broken dreams. Once what had been a beautiful view far on the horizon, was visible but very gray. It was really a devastating experience.

It took me a long time to reReact. All of which would not have been possible without the set of people sent my way to take my eyes off the ground.
~ They did not give up on me.

As every action has a reaction, my actions were completely counterintuitive to my dreams at that time.

Though still, I can say that I reacted positively. Not to the incidence of being an only child to a shattered family, but to God for guiding and showing me that life is beautiful and full of surprises!

Nowadays I am more likely to surpass hindrances, eager to not take defeat. I started coping with patience and all it includes. As a result I have started to taste some sweetness of success.
I study hard so that I learn many things from four sides of the classroom. I have meet many kinds of people whom I hear beautiful and inspiring stories that mold me into a motivated optimistic person.
Although life is a mess and there are times when I want to give up, still I choose to move on. There are no dead ends!

I am not even halfway through where i want to be but I have worked hard to get to where i am. I prayed for guidance and asked for His abiding help to strengthen me. I started to let go of the things which are not meant for me. Though it hurt, I began to see that things pay off whenever the good things happened. And surely they do. Ever since, I truly believe that “everything happens for a reason.”

There are ocean size of lessons in life, some I have learned and the rest continuously endlessly learning;
To be be thrifty so that I could be able to sustain my other needs. To manage my time and prioritize things to meet deadlines. To appreciate everything in life. How to not take the people I love for granted. To be thankful for everything that happens, be it good or bad. To love and be loved in return. To sacrifice my love for someone special, in behalf of my dreams and for my family. To accept whatever outcome in every decision I make. To be patient in dealing with other people. To accept that my life is different from my other friends. To surrender my ego just to have smoother relationships with people. To let go of my pride to gratify other people's needs. To accept other people's mistakes though they shouldn’t be. To live far from my family.
Most of all I learned to accept that this is my life – full of ups and downs. And at the end of the dark tunnel, I find the light leading to what good life can offer.

Unexpected trials come but I am strong enough to face it and most importantly, God is always there, perfectly on time, pouring His undying love and overflowing graces.

~
Pristine ~ growing up